His footsteps were gentle. I didn't really hear them, I felt them. You wouldn't have heard them either. The sound of the beating of my heat would not let you. As he came closer I felt like I would implode at any second. I lay hidden underneath my bed. My forehead was cold and sweaty. My palms, wet and clammy. My mouth, dry and parched. The door handle turned slowly. I didn't see it, I felt it. In a second he was in my room. Underneath the bed my tiny body shook like a leaf in the wind. He wouldn't see me, he never did. He always felt me. It happened all too often yet it always felt like the first time. Always. His large fist wrapped itself round my tiny ankles, or was it my heart? He unceremoniously dragged me out from underneath the bed. His bloodshot eyes blazing fire, his nostrils flaring. As though to say, you already know the drill, why bother?
My screams were piercing even to my own ears as my father dragged me out from the room. My legs scratching against the wooden floor, my arms flailing around hopelessly. My cries fell on deaf ears. I saw my tears drop to the floor and it only made me cry harder. He dragged me into the room.
They were there. The other man who always wore the white coat and mother. I looked at mother and she looked away, unable to look me in the eyes. How could mother watch them do this to me, night after night. Daddy held my hands still. He beckoned to the other man with a nod; pull down her pants, I'm holding her, she can't move.
Mother. Please stop them mother. The pain, I can't take the pain mother. Please, help me! Still she refused to look at me. My tears poured freely as the man came to me. I tried to break free from daddy's tight grip as the man came nearer but I was no match for his 280 pound frame. I knew what was to follow, this had happened enough times for me to know.
Daddy held me tight as the man held me by the waist and tugged at my panties. Again I looked to mother, one more time, for the third time. Third time's the charm, or so they said. Maybe now she'll put a stop to this, for once help me and not just look on as they caused me unbearable pain.
He stood close behind me, so close I could feel his breath on my neck. I squeezed my teary eyes shut in dread-filled anticipation of what was to come. He forced my pant down by the side. "stay still", he said. "stay still Tomi, you have to take your injection" said the man in the white coat. Oh Lord, I couldn't wait to be done with this 5-day Malaria injection.