Looking back at the kind of men you have dated over the years, are you surprised to realize that they have all been financially or emotionally dependent on you?
Are you naturally drawn to men that appear to be struggling somehow and are down on their luck?
Do you find yourself always having to help or rescue your men from problems they fall into due to their carelessness or irresponsibility?
Do you find yourself always making excuses or otherwise covering up for the glaring short-comings of your men?
Have you been always ready to assume the sole responsibility for the survival of the relationship?
Do you make little or no demands of your partner?
Are you always totally focused on the comfort and happiness of your partner with little or no thought given to your own satisfaction?
Do you literally put your whole life on hold for the "success" of your relationships?
Is 50-50 love a joke to you because you have no problem giving 100% of yourself and getting nothing in return?
Do you cave in every time your partner makes yet another selfish demand of your rapidly dwindling resources?
Do you feel paralyzed with guilt at the very thought of saying no to your man?
Looking back over the years, does it appear you have routinely been used, defrauded and taken advantage of by your men?
If you have answered an honest YES to most or all of these questions, you have the SAVIOUR COMPLEX.
Saviours are strong in long-suffering, patience and endurance but sadly very low in self-esteem, personal drive and ambition. They can plough on with little or no reward or appreciation from their loved ones and think somehow that they don't deserve to be happy in a relationship. Sacrifice is their middle name.
Some Saviours are that way because they think it is a religious obligation. 1 Cor 13 is their favorite scripture. Some others got that way from their very difficult up-bringing where they were denied a care-free childhood and made to shoulder too much responsibility long before they were ready or matured enough. Some were raised by absent or neglectful dads and had to basically care for themselves and even their younger ones. And now that they are all grown up, unconsciously, they find themselves drawn to men like their inadequate dads. History is repeating itself.
Why?
Because such men are familiar and oddly comfortable. It's all they have ever known.
And when wonderful caring and kind men take an interest in Saviours? Do they rush into their arms?
No way! Nice men just don't have the same irresistible pull for them as parasitic or neglectful men. They pose no challenge. They get all nervous and restless as there is nothing to do in such safe relationships. No emergency. No desperate problem to fix. No opportunity to sacrifice and prove over and over how helpful and indispensable they are.
But in the kingdom of God, there is only room for one Saviour.
Jesus Christ has already given his life for the salvation of the world. He has already paid the ultimate sacrifice. There is no need for anyone else to assume sole responsibility for the well-being of another full grown adult. You are not God, and don't have the inexhaustible resources of God. Take note that in spite of your sacrifices and self-debasement for the approval of the men in your life, they still record no notable improvement in life and remain ungrateful parasites.
You need to learn to seek out balance in your relationships. You need to choose men who have value to add to your life and that can bring improvement into your world. You need to accept only men that that want to please, help and bless you and not only you doing all the work.
You are not super woman!
Step away from the addictive and destructive savior role and go back to being the Lady that God created you to be. A precious gift to be appreciated, protected and blessed with all goodness by the highly fortunate man in her life.