A HELPING HAND, NOT A SERVANT
Rethinking How We Treat Domestic Workers
In many Nigerian homes, having domestic help has become a necessity rather than a luxury. From busy parents juggling demanding careers to families who need assistance with childcare, cooking, cleaning and other household responsibilities, domestic workers play an important role in keeping our homes running smoothly.
But while we appreciate the convenience they bring, one uncomfortable question remains: Do we treat the people who help us at home with the same dignity and respect we expect for ourselves?
For some domestic workers, employment means becoming part of a household where they are valued, respected and treated fairly. For others, however, it is an entirely different experience, one filled with endless chores, harsh words, little rest and, sometimes, outright abuse.
It is time we rethink what it truly means to employ domestic help.
They Are Helpers, Not Lesser Humans
There is a troubling mentality in some households that once someone is employed as domestic help, they automatically become inferior to everyone else in the house.
They are expected to wake up before everyone, sleep after everyone, attend to every demand and sometimes endure insults without questioning anything.
Some are denied basic comforts, served different meals or else made to feel that sitting in the same living room as their employers is a privilege they have not earned.
But employment should never strip anyone of their humanity.
A domestic worker is a person with a family, dreams, emotions and personal struggles. Their job description may involve washing clothes, preparing meals or else caring for children, but none of these responsibilities makes them less deserving of kindness.
Respect should not be determined by who pays the salary and who receives it.
The Problem With the Word “Househelp”
In Nigeria, the term househelp is widely used, often without much thought about the attitude that sometimes accompanies it.
While there is nothing inherently wrong with describing someone as a helper, the problem begins when employers interpret the word to mean that the individual exists solely to serve their household.
A person employed to clean the house suddenly becomes the cook, nanny, laundry attendant, security guard and personal assistant, all for one salary.
In some cases, the worker is expected to be available every hour of the day simply because they live in the employer's home.
Imagine being employed at an office where your boss expects you to work from 5 a.m. until midnight, seven days a week, without proper breaks or else additional compensation. Most people would consider such conditions unacceptable.
Why, then, do we sometimes normalise them when the workplace happens to be our home?
Domestic work is still work, and it deserves structure, fairness and reasonable boundaries.
Kindness Should Begin at Home
We often teach children to be polite, compassionate and respectful. Yet, some of the same children grow up watching their parents shout at domestic workers, insult them or else blame them for every little mistake.
Children learn more from what they see than what they are told.
When a child watches an adult treat a domestic worker poorly, they may begin to believe that people who perform certain jobs deserve less respect.
On the other hand, when children see their parents saying “please,” “thank you” and “well done” to someone who works in their home, they learn that kindness is not reserved for people of a particular social class.
The home should be the first place where human dignity is demonstrated, not where it is compromised.
Fair Pay, Proper Rest and Personal Boundaries
Treating domestic workers well goes beyond speaking politely to them. It also involves creating fair working conditions.
Before employment begins, there should be a clear understanding of the worker's responsibilities, salary, working hours, rest periods and other expectations.
A domestic worker should not have to beg endlessly to receive an agreed salary. Neither should taking a day off to attend to personal matters be treated as an act of rebellion.
Employers must also recognise that domestic workers have lives outside their jobs. They have relatives to visit, friendships to maintain, personal ambitions to pursue and physical and emotional needs that deserve consideration.
For live-in workers, providing accommodation should not mean taking away their privacy or else freedom.
And where young people are involved, special care must be taken to ensure that household responsibilities never replace their right to education, safety and a healthy childhood.
No family's convenience should come at the expense of another person's future.
Respect Goes Both Ways
Of course, a healthy working relationship is not built on the employer's responsibilities alone.
Domestic workers also have a duty to be honest, professional, trustworthy and respectful of the households that employ them.
Families often entrust domestic workers with their children, personal belongings and private information. Such responsibilities require integrity and accountability.
However, when disagreements arise, they should be handled appropriately. Mistakes can be corrected without humiliation, and misconduct can be addressed without violence.
Being an employer gives someone the authority to manage work, not the right to mistreat another human being.
The goal should be a relationship built on mutual understanding, clear expectations and respect.
A Little Humanity Makes a Big Difference
Sometimes, the smallest gestures leave the greatest impact.
Asking a domestic worker how they are feeling, appreciating a meal they prepared, allowing them time to rest or else remembering that they also have important personal occasions can make a meaningful difference.
These gestures do not diminish an employer's authority. They simply create a healthier environment where people feel valued.
A domestic worker who is treated with dignity is not being given an extraordinary favour. They are receiving the basic consideration every human being deserves.
We must move away from the idea that treating domestic workers kindly means we are doing them a favour simply because we pay their salaries.
Payment compensates people for their labour. It does not purchase their dignity.
Final Thoughts: A Home Should Be Safe for Everyone
The true character of a person is not always revealed by how they treat their friends, colleagues or else people they hope to impress. Sometimes, it is revealed by how they treat those who depend on them for employment.
Domestic workers contribute significantly to the comfort and stability of many households. Their efforts allow parents to pursue careers, children to receive care and families to manage the demands of everyday life.
They may not own the houses they clean or else sit at the head of the tables where they serve meals, but their contributions remain valuable.
As a society, we need to replace entitlement with appreciation, exploitation with fairness and superiority with mutual respect.
Because at the end of the day, a helping hand is still a human hand, and every human being deserves to be treated with dignity.
NMA.