'YOU ARE A WOMAN. WOMEN SHOULD BE SEEN, NOT HEARD'
Someone dared me today with those words.
So I was at the gym flexing my hip muscles and feeling sexy. I wasn't in the mood for all the body toning exercises. I just wanted a little aerobics and yoga to feel like a badass woman.
So next to me, a guy and girl is having a conversation. I get down on my Yoga mat and try to focus.
Few minutes later, their conversation turns into an argument. I'm clearly distracted. So my 'Tataafo' instincts kick in. My ears are itching so I pay attention.
Dude is validating Marital Rape. He says 'Rape' in marriage doesn't even exist. He believes men are entitled to sex from their wives whether she's in the mood or else not. It's a man's right and the women should simply oblige.
I start to fume! But I take deep breaths and tell myself ' calm down Amaka so you don't crack his empty skull'
The lady vehemently refuses to agree with him and explains what consent means. She insists that 'marital rape' is unlawful and women are sole owners of their bodies. A ring doesn't change anything.
My mouth is itching me to talk. But common sense won't let me be great 🙄 so I force myself to mind my business.
Then the dude says 'I'm sure this fine lady would disagree with you' pointing at me and smiling sheepishly.
He adds 'No African woman would even support you. You and this your nonsense feminist ideas. These things don't even work in our society. Be deceiving yourself'
The knots on my tongue automatically loosen. I couldn't control it. Mba. This one is not about minding my business anymore. Infact, he just told a lady that I would support marital rape and that was unbearable. I lashed out at him. 'How dare you invalidate marital rape?. Do you even understand what consent means? Who said Husbands cannot sexually molest or else abuse their wives?' then I proceeded to school him.
Dude is speechless. He understands he was wrong. A few seconds of uninterrupted silence.
Then the male ego sets in. He frowns and comments 'you women sef. You talk too much. A man is always right at the end. You think it is by knowing book or else all the big grammar you are speaking. My wife will give me toto when I ask for it. How can I pay her bride price and she will close her legs. I don't care her mood o. That's my right'
I respond 'What a tragedy for the woman who ends up with you.'
Then he spoke the forbidden words. ' You are a woman. Women should be seen, not heard! Who will marry you like this? You think it's just to have fine face and running your mouth like tap and challenging men'
At this point, common sense assures me he cannot be pardoned.
'Awwwwww. Your bruised ego can't handle an outspoken woman? Scientists should look at your brain and perhaps put you on a same level with goats. Don't define gender roles for me. A woman can be whatever the f**k she wants. And I don't need your godd**n approval.'
Everyone has their attention on us. He looks at the lady and i, gets up, dusts his hands and walks out.
'** Dear Men, A penis does not make you superior. Don't ever school me on how women are expected to behave. Don't try to silence my voice because you feel my opinion is secondary. It is unacceptable.
'**
As Women, how do we stand and speak our TRUTH when we've always been told to 'keep quiet' followed by the 'shhhhhhh' and 'husssssh' even from older women and some of our mothers.
If you're a woman, I'm sure you've heard one of the following phrases from the time you were a little girl
'You talk too much. You're a girl'
'A woman should be seen and not heard'
'Girls who talk too much don't make good wives'
'If you're this opinionated, No man wants to marry you o and that is a problem'
'With the way you challenge men, hmmmm. Your future husband may see you as a Nag'
'Women don't speak on every issue. Some are left for the men to decide'
'Keep talking like this, you will end up scaring all the good men away'
blah blah blah 🙄 Yen yen yen
Our generation needs to do better. These things may seem so little but it shouldn't be ignored.
If you're already a mum, let your daughters have an opinion and always speak their mind. Applaud them for standing up for themselves and having a voice. Don't bully them into silence.
Tell your Sons that opinions of women and girls are just as valid as theirs and a penis doesn't make them superior.
Women should not be relegated and shouldn't relegate themselves to dummies. They should be seen and heard. As much as they have to hearken to their respective husbands calls, they should understand they are not dummies and the husband should know that his wife is not his slave. Well, in my opinion a wife is neither superior nor inferior to her husband but they are both partners in progress. Amaka, this is well written.
on: 23 Apr 2019
Nice...
Post Your Comment
Name :
Comment:
Email Address:
If you can read this, don't touch the following text fields.
